Let Me Out of Your Head Bud

You don’t miss me. 

You miss the thought of someone loving you. 

You miss holding someone and having someone to kiss whenever you want and hanging out with someone and laughing with someone. You miss every good time we’ve ever had. You don’t miss the awful times and you don’t even consider all the times I was uncomfortable and hurt and felt like I couldn’t talk to you. Why should you miss that, Lord knows. I don’t expect you to. But the worst part about all of this is that I don’t think you understood me when I finally exploded and said everything that I felt didn’t make “us” work out, that would never make “us” work out, as unfortunate as that is. 

It makes me feel sick when I see you saying you miss me. And I know that’s awful, that I shouldn’t feel like that. But you’re so selfish and you put me down so hard that I don’t think you realized it. And then when you say you miss me I don’t think you actually miss me. I don’t even know what you would miss. 

I don’t think you’ve ever tried to move on. I don’t want to be a bitch and I would never want someone to look at me and say “Why couldn’t you just give him another chance?” because you didn’t deserve another chance, and people never understood that.

I think you “miss me” because you’ve yet to find someone else to make you feel the way I made you feel. But that feeling was never mutual, it may have been in the beginning but I can’t remember, honestly. I feel like saying sorry for that but I don’t exactly know why.

I’m not saying the relationship was awful. For me, it was a learning stage and that’s important. I still wear your ring and some of my friends don’t get it, but it’s like a memory. I wear it because it’s something that happened, something I was able to learn from and move on from. You can’t hide away your past and you can’t hide from it either. That represents a moment in my life that now seems so brief and distant to me, and that’s why I wear it.

I’m so happy you’re getting your life sorted out and you’re going to school and getting a new job, really, I am. But you don’t miss me. You may say you do, you may back it up with arguments and crying and proofs, but in the end you miss the media’s idea of a girlfriend and a relationship. Someone will come along for you and make you feel ten bagillion times better then I ever did and I hope she’s kick ass. But you need to let the idea of me go or else life is never going to throw her in your path bud. 

I refuse to sugar coat it, you know that about me. 

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