TMI

I just had the most wonderful girl chat with Tegan.

You’re stereotypical girl chat. And I’m a-okay with that because sometimes I feel like those are necessary, you know?

We most definitely got onto the conversation of sex and she told me a story about how her and her boyfriend high-fived one time after doing the deed.

And I laughed really hard and then thought to myself, Holy shit. That’s totally what I want my relationship to be like.

I once saw this tweet, back in the good ol’ days when I was among the tweeters of the Twitterverse, that said “I want my whole relationship to be like a one night stand: get pizza, have sex, wake up and get breakfast”.

And that’s what I would want out of a relationship. I’m not saying I’m looking – because serendipity. I’m just saying that I don’t want to have to ever worry if a guy is going to tell all of his friends how awful I am at sex, or if I make weird faces, or weird noises. I’d want a guy who would laugh with me about it. And I could laugh at how sweaty he gets but deep down seriously love it because, honestly, that’s pretty sexy. And then we’d just be lying together laughing at each other but loving each other at the same time because we’re both so quirky and lame.

I’m not asking for a relationship, I think I’m just asking for all of my guy friends to stop telling me all of their “worst sex encounters ever” stories because I get really nervous. Why do most guys expect girls to be great in bed? I know I’m not great in bed. I think that’s the number one reason why I don’t hook up with people and rock the whole one night stand thing. I’d feel uno hundred percento embarrassed about it.

People are constantly saying “It’s fun, it’s just a fun thing!”

And I’m all like, “Well go have fun then!”

Is sex not fun when you’re in a relationship? I feel like sex would be the most amount of fun in a relationship. That’s how one gets “better” at sex, nay? You can’t tell someone what you like and what you don’t like and how things make you feel in a matter of hours during a one night stand. Maybe some gals are perfect and they know how to rock a one night stand. Maybe that’s every guy’s dream.

Some people complain about only being able to have sex with one person when you’re in a relationship. Clearly, you’re a boring person. It would be ten billion gazillion times better having sex in a relationship because you’d get to know each other’s bodies and try new things out, and not have to worry whether they care what your hair looks like or if you have make-up on or if you just had a cheeseburger before this round. Because they were probably eating that cheeseburger right there with you. And that actually rocks my world.

I just think there’s a great big hype about having sex 24/7 when you’re in university with all of the people attending that university, and that’s a tad unnecessary.

Go ahead, tell me your “kill count” because that really makes me want to sleep with you more. I’d rather not be eskimo sisters with the world, as much love as there is in my heart.

Maybe this was way too much information but I don’t think I care.

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