Shut Up

I tell myself to “shut up” too often.

I feel like if I’m not saying it inside my head, people will say it out loud and I’d rather not put myself through the embarrassment.

Oh, you want me to stop talking? That’s really kind of you. Thanks.

I don’t consider myself annoying but so many other people do that it’s starting to brainwash me like an infomercial. 

“Gubs! Stop it! No one thinks you’re annoying. We all love you.”

Cut the crap this isn’t high school. If you think I suck stop putting up with me so I can find people to moss with that appreciate my terrible sense of humour or the way I ramble on too much. 

Maybe I’m just hanging around with the wrong crowd. Maybe I just hang out with them because they make me feel sane.

They make me feel sane in a way that society wants you to feel sane. 

(Sane = “cool”?) 

The only thing that really makes me feel sane is when I’m watching my bunny hop around on my bed or lighting that cigarette – and how insane does that sound? 

I like to be alone because I hate constantly worrying that someone is going to contradict every little thing I say. 

Maybe that’s selfish. Or maybe people are just straight up assholes. 

I know we all have to welcome the real world and we can’t all always be happy but fuck that shit. I would like to know who the fuck started the whole “you can’t be happy all of the time” because it’s serious crap. 

Why can’t I be happy all of the time?

Why can’t I walk away from my “friends” that are being jerks and saying jerky things that I know are rude and wrong and hurtful? 

Why can’t I be happy all of the time?